The Fifth Estate needs an Enema

I can't express how disappointed I've been with the America Press of late. Houston Chronicle reports that defendant Schlitterbahn put out a new statement. What it looks like is that the spokesperson for Schlitterbahn was in the process of editing the statements while I was posting about it. The date of the Original Statement is from 03/23 & the statement from yesterday was put up last night around 7.00 PM. Same website. 

Some shoddy reporting confused me. The fact that the date on the statement changed confused me too. Regardless the updated statement can be found at the same place.

The new statement, like the old, looks to be the work of a legal amateur. It reminds me of something that Roxie or Velma might say in Chicago. I certainly hope that defendant Schlitterbahn did not pay an attorney for that statement.  Still no comment, publicly, regarding if defendant Schlitterbahn has retained representation for this matter.

A couple of things I want to point out. The statements make no reference to the charges against the companies. I'm not sure if that has to do with a finer point of the law but I have a feeling the content of these initial statements is going to become really important further down the road. Also, as the statement from defendant Schlitterbahn points out, "[Defendant] Jeff Henry has designed waterpark rides the world over.  Nearly every waterpark that exists today has an attraction or feature based on his designs or ideas." 

That is true. His slides are very well received throughout the industry by patrons & parks alike. I have personally ridden at least three rides he was directly involved in building, designing, or that used elements of his designs. They are known as "Watercoasters." On one of them I personally caught air. That is to say that my tuckus was no longer in contact with the raft while we crested a hill. 

Now I'm not certain if our raft actually left the flume but I have heard of a number of people being "dumped" into the flume on such watercoasters. Dumped passengers are often a symptom of an unsafe slide. Think of tubing on a natural rapid: you get dumped quite a bit because it's not engineered to be safe. My sister-in-law was dumped when she tried to ride with my father-in-law if I recall correctly. 

Now the operator of this particular park has extremely high safety standards. They have a very lucrative market to protect and they do also have a spotty history with patron safety themselves. Off the top of my head I can think of three verifiable tragedies that never should have occurred at one property alone.

Upon reflecting on my experience with that flume I don't believe it to be unsafe. But I do believe it might not live up to the safety standards that the designers and operators claim it does. If you watch a few videos of the flume you'll notice what we noticed when visiting. That ride can be rough.